Aaah, networking events, these Eldorados where everything seems possible. We covet professional opportunities there as we go in search of a new partner. After walking around them so much, I can’t help but compare them to nightclubs. Slightly strange places where we hope not to leave alone. Decoding this great ephemeral flirting ground that takes place every Thursday from 5 to 7.
Before going out to the nightclubs, we pamper ourselves, check our breath and rehearse our opening line; the one that will allow us to hit the mark in less than 30 seconds. Then, we launch into the great temple of seduction.
In nightclubs as in networking, we meet several types of people:
- The meerkat: As soon as you start talking to him, he stands on his hind legs, pretends to listen to you and looks over your shoulders. His outward-facing feet speak for him: as soon as a more attractive person comes along, he runs away.
- The Cowboy: Famous for drawing his number faster than his shadow. A statistician at heart, he did his calculations before coming. He knows that by speaking briefly to everyone, he maximizes his chances of “matching” with someone.
- BFFs (“best friends for ever”): A small group of friends who arrive together, dance together and leave together. Don’t try to flirt with one of these members, the others will quickly make you understand that you’re too much.
- The spectator: He usually arrives alone, gives himself a presence by pretending to consult his smartphone. He has interesting things to share, but is held back by his great shyness.
But let’s not be afraid to say it: in the evening, the king of the party is the bartender.
Unlike the customers, he is not there to flirt. He and his colleagues play an active role in the success of the evening. Naturally, he knows everyone (even the DJ) and offers drinks to the regulars. All eyes are always on him (or her).
Despite the music, the alcohol and the diversity of the people present, one cannot help but feel a kind of embarrassment. Authenticity is often lacking in these meetings that take place in an impersonal atmosphere. Everyone talks, no one listens to each other. Everyone is looking for something and no one has anything to offer. In short, it turns most of us off.
In my circle, the couples that last did not form in nightclubs. Love at first sight tends to arise in the “third places of flirting”: sports clubs, music concerts, parties at friends’ houses, etc. It is easier to find a partner who is like you when you look for them in places that suit you.
Developing and maintaining your professional network is a necessity. To make this task enjoyable and effective, don’t feel like you have to do what everyone else is doing. Start by identifying the causes and interests that are important to you, then find a way to get involved, to be useful to your community while demonstrating your skills. Volunteering or joining the board of directors of an association allows you to establish solid connections with individuals who share the same convictions as you. Flirting then gives way to collective effort. It will take time and effort, but the relationships you develop will not be one-night stands. When networking, don’t be a dancer lost in the crowd. Become the bartender of your community.
